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1. Le lundi 5 juin 2006 à 11:08, par monsieurlevent

A l'inverse si la France gagne la coupe du monde je ne veux pas te voir sur les champs Elysées, ok (-; ?

2. Le lundi 5 juin 2006 à 18:53, par latex

la France aura beau se crouter 10 000 fois, tu entendras quand même parler de foot mon vieux. c'est le truc parfait pour ressembler à un beauf, donc qu'est-ce qu'il se passe dans la tête du francais... "hmmm je me sens très con mais pas assez, oh mais tout le monde aime le foot, et bah moi aussi alors, et pour être sur d'être bien beauf, je vais même en parler tous les jours, acheter des maillots tout pourris pour bien transpirer dedans, comme ca je ne culpabiliserait plus de voir ma brioche construite à coup de "binouzes devant le match" quand ma radasse m'en parlera, vue que tout le monde a la même!!!"
CQFD

3. Le lundi 5 juin 2006 à 22:36, par JR

Monsieur le vent : tu peux compter sur moi! Je te laisse les champs...
:p

4. Le mardi 6 juin 2006 à 19:43, par monsieurlevent

Le foot rend con (ceux qui ne l'aiment pas)
mer 31 mai, 17h38

Comment survivre aux commentaires non autorisés de ceux qui se croient fondés à nous fourguer leurs opinions sur le football? D'Elkabbach aux collègues de bureau en passant par les ironistes d'entrée de gamme, la Coupe du monde sera une épreuve.

Le foot rend con, c'est une certitude maintes fois établie, inutile de revenir dessus. En revanche, il y a une hypothèse qui tend à s'imposer, de plus en plus, à chaque grand événement sportif: le foot rend surtout con ceux qui ne l'aiment pas. On entend par là, d'abord ceux qui ne l'aiment pas spécialement, ensuite ceux qui ne l'aiment vraiment pas.

1998, début des emmerdements

Chez ces derniers, on va avoir droit, inévitablement, à l'habituel déferlement de clichés éculés, au mieux à une pseudo-critique idéologique de comptoir revenant à dire que, mon brave monsieur, le foot c'est vraiment l'opium du peuple - alors qu'en réalité, le foot est à la religion ce que le lexomil est à l'héroïne pure (1).

Mais les plus pénibles appartiennent sans conteste à la première catégorie, ne serait-ce que parce qu'ils sont infiniment plus nombreux et constituent une gamme d'emmerdeurs remarquablement nombreuse.

Cette engeance inclut les collègues de bureau qui, à l'occasion d'une Coupe du monde, vont s'autoriser à donner leur opinion sur tout et n'importe quoi, et surtout sur n'importe quoi. À commencer par l'équipe de France, devenue un "lieu commun" depuis un Mondial 98 qui a vraiment marqué le début des emmerdements. On ne dira jamais assez à quel point cette victoire constitua une calamité qui a amené une masse excessive de Béotiens à s'intéresser à notre sport préféré... Dans un pays de culture footballistique aussi médiocre que le nôtre, cette invasion devait forcément être catastrophique.

"De toute façon, ils sont nuls"

Tout le monde s'estime donc compétent pour parler de football (peut-être encouragé en cela par l'incompétence réglementaire de bon nombre de journalistes sportifs). Nous voilà donc contraints de subir, aux abords de la machine à café ou sur le formica des cantines d'entreprise, des opinions définitives et particulièrement originales, du type "De toute façon, ils sont nuls", préludant de manière sinistre aux ricanements qui salueront une élimination... Pour ceux qui ont l'instinct de mettre une couche de prudence à leur jugement, c'est évidemment le sélectionneur qui ramasse - bouc émissaire préventif et universel. Même la production quotidienne des Guignols de Canal+ témoigne de ce degré zéro de la critique, de ce plus petit dénominateur commun. "Domenech = gros bouffon", donc. Mais là, restons circonspects puisque la moitié des lecteurs des Cahiers va se sentir visée...

La beaufrérie contemporaine s'accorde ainsi sur de grandes vérités transcendantes. Par exemple, celle qui établit que le footballeur est un connard surpayé... Mais bizarrement, pas le patron de multinationale qui touche des tickets de présence faramineux pour participer de loin à des conseils d'administration et liquider des emplois, et qui héritera du PIB du Lesotho en guise d'indemnités de départ, ni l'animateur-producteur qui gagne des fortunes grâce à sa science de l'abrutissement des masses.

L'ironie est bien là : nous qui sommes bien placés pour mesurer l'inculture, la citoyenneté minimaliste ou encore la vénalité des footballeurs, nous voilà quasiment contraints de leur accorder notre sympathie, voire de ressentir une forme de solidarité avec eux - contre le front commun des footophobes primaires.

Indignés

Ainsi, le philosophe Jean-Pierre Elkabbach a-t-il exprimé avec nuance son sentiment envers Raymond Domenech et "l'incident SFR": "Je souhaite qu'il perde! Une fois de plus, le football est livré à l'argent fou (...) Il a vendu sa parole, c'est scandaleux. C'est scandaleux. Le sélectionneur de l'équipe de France est là pour parler à tout le monde. Je proteste, je le dénonce!" (2) Elkabbach - symbole d'un journalisme de révérence et de connivence encalminé dans la médiocrité de ses analyses et le sentiment de son importance, spectateur actif de l'annihilation du débat politique, président très bien rémunéré d'une antenne polluée au dernier degré par la publicité -, qui vient donner des leçons de déontologie et de désintéressement à un entraîneur de foot!

Il faut aussi avoir vu le reportage du 13 heures de TF1 (évoqué dans notre numéro 26) pour saisir à quelle vindicte imbécile les internationaux français sont confrontés, simplement parce qu'ils n'ont pas fait coucou aux crétins qui les regardaient depuis le bord de la route - la scène évoque d'ailleurs un monde où les poissons seraient à l'extérieur de l'aquarium (3).

La vieille haine du footballeur se réveille après quelques années de semi-hibernation: ce racisme de classe particulier qui s'appuie sur le constat que des individus sans bagage ni héritage, pour la plupart issus de classes très moyennes (et de plus en plus des banlieues), gagnent des sommes considérables et paradent au fronton des médias. On note aussi que le populisme s'appuie tout aussi bien sur les victoires des équipes de foot que sur leurs défaites: il peut en effet toujours compter sur une vaste majorité de pékins qui sauront basculer d'un côté ou de l'autre en fonction des résultats...

(1) À signaler la parution aux éditions L'Harmattan de "Football - Sociologie de la haine", sous la direction de Camille Dal et Ronan David et de la réédition de "Football et politique - Sociologie historique d'une domination", de Patrick Vassort.

(2) Propos tenus lors d'une rencontre avec des étudiants nantais, rapportés par Ouest-France du 24 mai.

(3) D'après Etienne Moatti (L'Équipe du 30 mai), la vindicte de TF1 s'expliquerait par la non-signature d'un contrat qui aurait assuré à "la chaîne des Bleus" l'exclusivité d'interviewes du sélectionneur et des joueurs, tout au long de la compétition. Lors de Téléfoot, dimanche, un nouveau reportage à charge a suscité la colère de Raymond Domenech

Article paru dans les cahiers du football (à lire avec précaution et humour)

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